Hey what’s up peepz sit down and have a nice cup of coffee, I have a real confession to make, and I’m not proud of it 
I started one of my projects in 2009 in a rush, so I didn’t have my own office yet. My manager asked me if I minded to share an office with the secretary. I didn’t. After two uncomfortable days she and I hit off. While we never really discussed it, we both recognised that we were on our own and that we both knew what kind of struggle life could be and we both didn’t want to be treated any differently because of it and therefore hid it from the people we met. Quite frankly her life then (and now) is a bigger struggle then mine atm and I really respected her for still being cheerful and trying hard to make something of it. (Don’t you guys dare to give me the Oprah Winfrey crap “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” 
, that is the biggest bull ever 
, if you don’t believe me, go do volunteer work for homeless people). While there were parents somewhere in her life, I could tell the only reason she was in touch with them was because of her son and that they never ever did anything for her 
After sharing an office with her I noticed a couple of things – she was absent way too much. She always had a “valid” excuses. Her son had gotten ill, she had gotten ill. In the six weeks we shared an office she was absent like this 4 times. I warned her about it, I told her that people were noticing and making comments about her absence behind her back. I knew exactly why she was absent, when you are on your own, really on your own, and there is way too much shitty stuff on your plate which you have to solve yourself, the kind of stuff that makes a lot of grown people run back to their parents. Going to work and staying there seems the hardest thing to do and the easiest place to stay away from. Even though deep inside you, you know that it’s the stupidest thing to do because all you have in this world is your ability to make money Been there done that.
The other thing I noticed was that she was computer illiterate, she didn’t have her own private (free) e-mail addy, when she needed to do something in Word she asked me or would Google how to do it. I had to teach her how to retrieve files from a USB device, I am talking about a 34 year old single mom here who has worked as secretary for the last 8 years! She was afraid of electronic banking, instead waited in line at the bank and paid their ridiculous fee to do payments manually. Even the dude behind the counter told her to get electronic banking. Her financial situation wasn’t good, she would always wait until the last minute to pay her bills…
This one day she came to my desk and asked me if I could make an electronic payment through my bank account. I looked at the bill and it said that if she didn’t pay before 3 in the afternoon they would cut off her gas and electricity…I didn’t say anything I just made the transfer, she was willing to pay me the fee she normally paid the bank. I looked at her and I said, “Please don’t think of me like this” while giving her back the money. Since I sensed she was afraid of electronic banking, I then made her do payments herself using my account (I didn’t care that she could see my financial details) I just wanted to get her used to it. It might sound stupid to you guys that she was afraid of electronic banking and that she was paying those ridiculous fees. Try to see her point of view – she has been on her own all her life, she is in serious debt, she is computer illiterate, she has been hearing the internet horror stories. So she is in a situation where she would rather be 100% sure the bill is paid than somehow, due to the internet, something goes wrong. She can’t afford to make any mistakes with money.
Also, almost every week she borrowed money from me for groceries, which she paid back a week later. That all being said I could see how hard she was trying to get her life going. Her way of keeping her job while being absent too much and not actually meeting the job requirements was allowing other people to treat her as a doormat. She once told me “Rampancy there was a time when I thought like you and I wouldn’t take that kind of crap either. But I’m a single mom now, I can’t afford to lose this job. I need the money I’m making here THAT much.” Despite the fact I’ve been there myself (minus the child and minus not meeting the requirements of the job) it was still very painful to witness this
When I was kicked off of the project I “made” her make an e-mail address for herself. A couple of weeks later she wrote me an e-mail thanking me and telling me that no one ever made such an effort as I did for her, she was now even using electronic banking by herself! I was so proud! I e-mailed her that it was nothing (for me it really wasn’t) and that I was glad that I could help her out. We stayed in touch through mail.
Last Friday when I came home from work and checked my mail, I saw an email from her saying that she had been fired…. The only way I can reach her is through mail, she even doesn’t own a mobile… And God knows where she e-mailed me from She really can’t afford to be jobless right now, not in this economy. She was always two months late with the rent, because of the many debts she had to pay off. She got in serious debt after being jobless for 8 months and unlike most she couldn’t go to her parents to have a free dinner etc., etc. or pay for “little” things for her.
And you know what is truly horrifying and disgusting? That I’m hoping she will not ask me to help her to get her a job… I can’t recommend her, I really can’t. I knew back then she was being overpaid way too much. If I recommend her now, I’m afraid that due to this economy it will kill my reputation, since I’m known to be extremely picky and I only recommend people who I think highly of as a professional whether I get along with them or not. This must be one of the truly horrible and disgusting things a person can think, right?
